Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
