I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
