Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
