One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
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Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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