Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize