I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i believe in u and ur pee
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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