the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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