where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
