So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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