How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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