u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
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the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
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Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm always down for nudity.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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