ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
