Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize