Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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