Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
