Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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