Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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