She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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