woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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