omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize