i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
