HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.