I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.