Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
