i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
