This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
