Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
