You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
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i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
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We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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