Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
