He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
