Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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