Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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