I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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