Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he fucked my hip out of place.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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