got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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