I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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