I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize