Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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