that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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