my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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