Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
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The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
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You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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