so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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