Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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