he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
