you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize