we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize