I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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