he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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