clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
