Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
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Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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