what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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